acts 2: 42-47...

42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

What is my focus? Where is my heart? Is it not in You, Lord, the maker and perfecter of my faith? In You I have purpose, I have life, I have love. A broken sinner, I fall down before the God of the universe, humbled and in awe of my heavenly Father. Thank you, God, for Your promises. Thank you, my refuge and strength.

Forgive me for my shortcomings. Forgive me for my weaknesses. Forgive me for my doubts.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o

And now for some randomness ~!

• 9 months already?? ahahahaa... =P~
• in 11 months and one week, I will be overseas with my love, Tracy !!! *flails in excitement*
• WHY WAS ONE OF MY CLASSES CANCELED??~ I cannot only have 12 credits this semester >.<
• Speaking of which...I can`t believe the break is practically over O.o D:
• Rewatching Ouran High School Host Club is so fun xDD~

I LOVE TAMAHARU~ !!

~i just don`t know~

It`s time to take my own advice a little .
To stop .
Cuz frankly this habitual monthly nighttime random crying tumult of emotions thing is getting F R E A K I N annoying ~~

Just something I was inspired to listen to and put on tonight . Or this morning . I haven`t slept yet . It`s on repeat right now .

† G o d † i s † G o d †
~ steven curtis chapman

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall
Oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
‘Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable
For to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

but not done yet

S T O P
It's time to take a step back . To take a deep breath
To give those swirling thoughts a break .
To pause if only for a second and think instead :
What good is worrying ?

- - -

W H A T I F . . . ?
Hate this question . Hate it , hate it , h a t e it
And yet it cannot be helped .
The speculations . The wild scenarios .
The chain of events that is SO sure to be set off once one little thing happens .
Or, rather :
The future that just looks like a scary, hazy blur
Whether it`s far off in the distance
Or right on your doorstep

- - -

T R U T H
Sometimes difficult to grasp . Hard to see . Hard to believe .
But it`s there & it`s absolute .
A big sister once told me this :
Stand firm against the devil and his lies, trickery, deceit
Remind yourself constantly of the truth you know in your mind
That it may reside in your heart, calm your spirit, reassure your soul
The truth isn`t way out there .
It`s actually closer than you think

- - -

L O V E
Isn`t easy .
Hard to believe, harder to describe
Hardest to understand .
Does not consist of feelings or warm pink fuzzies, or warm fuzzies of any other color .
Shouldn`t be taken lightly, has been given freely
A gift .
If there`s any truth I know, it is G O D `S love
And I can lean on that

- - -

Let the emotions settle, let the storms cease
Let the burdens be cast away .
We can wonder, we can feel

neglected jealous upset confused frustrated annoyed incompetent
cheated angry wishful
lost

It`s good for neither you nor me .
I`ve got your back ; let`s move on .
Let`s continue .
Let`s pray .

because i am old

Greetings, fellow internet-lurkers ! I hail from the cozy lil white-walled, fluorescent-lit, sweltering-hot-NO-AC-IN-THIS-DUMB-ROOM realm of Brookdale dorms =] . So yups, I'm all moved in now ! Woot woot ! I have pretty new curtains, and a cute lil lamp, and a nice vase of fake flowers, and all my favorite plushies, and a jar of potpourri, and my lovely posters / pictures on the wall, and a whole bunch more of other random things ppl typically have in their dorm rooms ^.^ ~

Gonna rewind for a bit now and take it back to when I was still cleaning up my dump of a room at home, just so I could properly pack for the move out [ and i STILL forgot some important things . . . idiot xP ] . I found this time capsule thing from 8 years ago xD ! It was so funny cuz it was just a rolled up piece of computer paper in an old Poland Springs bottle, and on the cap it said ' 8 / 10 / 2007 ' . Heh . Oops . Guess that's when I was supposed to have opened it xD oh wellss ~ I remember when I had put this together . . . it was summertime and I was in elementary school between 5th and 6th grades or something like that ~ And I was in VBS at GCC ! =DD Kehee ~ I opened it up . . . and it was this Gospel Light [ lOL ] worksheet called ' From Time to Time ' . There were two columns - the first one said ' Today : August 10 , 2000 ' and the other said ' In the Future ( fill in later ) ' . Then I got madd excited cuz I was like oh snap ~ ! I can fill this in now ! xDD ! =P

So here's what I wrote =] ~ The bold is the category, the blue is what my 11-year-old self had written, the [ italics in brackets ] is my commentary on what I'd written then xD, and the orange is what I've written now [ now as in . . . when I was at home =P ] ~~

My age :
11
It's actually August 24 , 2008 . I am 19 ~

My favorite thing to do :
ice skate , draw [ ^.^ ]
i dunno . . . having fun with friends ?

My favorite person :
people who are good tempered , give good advice [lOL . . . i was weird =P ]
the bffs ! and people who make me smile <3

I like the way I :
do things [ LOL ORLY ]
can eat a lot =P

Something I'd like to do someday :
go to the Olympics in figure skating [ AHAHA sorry 11-yr-old self xP ]
serve God in my career . . . in the even farther future have a family ?

Something I've recently learned about God :
we were made in the image of God [ why yes we are ~ ]
He never fails . Shows us perfect love & enables us to be like Him thru His Holy Spirit . He never puts us in situations we can't handle ; trails will grow us and build our character .

I show God to other people when I :
feel like it [ ROFL I may have misread this back then =PP ]
love them unconditionally . let them know of God's promises